Monopoly Veldrijden Impromptu Race Power Rankings

Mister Monopoly's cameo at Scheldecross got us thinking about a cyclocross version of the iconic game.

It’s hard to believe (for us, at least), but this marks two weeks of the CXHairs Bulletin. After today, we will be releasing most of our content to subscribers only. We started the Bulletin in part because we were tired of waiting around for others to provide quality cyclocross content. We’d love to have you along for the ride to help us do our thing and provide opportunities for talented freelancers in the cyclocross community. Thanks, cyclocross friends, for your support.

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With Euro races going fan-less this season because of the global pandemic, those of us accustomed to watching races on tv have gotten to see race venues in a different light this year. With no crowds crowding the barriers, long shots have given us more of a “bigger picture” sense of what the race venues look like. This really hit home for me at Koppenbergcross, where the long shots showed the beautiful setting of one of the sport’s iconic locations.

You know what else it provided an excellent look at? All the inflatables lining the course.

I’m just here for the inflatable rubber duckie.

Whether it be the Het Nieuwsblad guy who kinda looks like the giant donut guy from Treehouse of Horror VI or the giant X20 Bathrooms rubber ducky, I found it pretty amusing to check out the large advertisements lining the course.

Twins, separated at birth?

During that race, I swear I also spotted … the Monopoly Guy?

Bill, crack journalist that he is, did some investigating and learned that yes, it was indeed the Monopoly Guy, aka Mister Monopoly, cheering riders on. It turns out, he might be joining Lotto Soudal as the team’s new DS next season.

Mister Monopoly took up prime real estate next to the mid-lap timer at Saturday’s Scheldecross, making him easy to spot out on the course.

So why has Mister Monopoly left his tony mansion to partake in COVID-era cyclocross? It appears he is a walking marketing campaign for Monopoly Koers, a cycling-based version of the iconic Parker Brothers game. As the Lotto Soudal #hype video above showed, the properties you vie to buy and develop are iconic Spring Classics locations such as the Roubaix velodrome, the Cauberg, the Poggio, and (our favorite, of course) the Koppenberg.

The game was produced with a limited run of 2,000 Monopoly Koers, but it appears they are doing a second run that will be available in Spring 2021 if you want to get in on the fun.

Since Mister Monopoly has been showing his face (but not wearing a mask, tsk tsk) at the Potty Cross (X20 Badkamers Trofee) races, we got to wondering what a Monopoly Veldrijden edition could look like.

Part of the fun of trying to adopt the Monopoly board for your preferred locale is it provides a kind of built-in power rankings system. With properties ranging in price from the $60 Mediterranean Avenue to the $400 Boardwalk, you can rank things according to colors and location on the board. We, for the sake of argument, came up with our cyclocross Monopoly Board. Feel free to let us know what we got wrong in the comments or for subscribers, our subscriber-only Slack channel.

Monopoly Veldrijden

Bern - (Mediterranean Avenue)
Otegem - (Baltic Avenue)

Oostmalle - (Oriental Avenue)
Ruddervoorde - (Vermont Avenue)
Middelkerke - (Connecticut Avenue)

Fladriencross Hamme - (St. Charles Place)
GP Sven Nys Baal - (States Avenue)
Gieten - (Virginia Avenue)

Jingle Cross - (St. James Place)
Waterloo - (Tennessee Avenue)
GP Gloucester - (New York Avenue)

Azencross Loenhout - (Illinois Avenue)
Diegem - (Kentucky Avenue)
Druivencross Overjse - (Indiana Avenue)

Gavere - (Ventnor Avenue)
Tabor - (Atlantic Avenue)
Hoogerheide - (Marven Gardens Avenue)

Zonhoven - (Pennsylvania Avenue)
Koppenbergcross - (Pacific Avenue)
Heusden-Zolder - (North Carolina Avenue)

Park Place - (Namur)
Boardwalk - (Koksijde)

Reading RR - (UCI World Cup)
B&O RR - (Superprestige)
Short Line RR - (X20 Badkamers Trofee)
Pennsylvania RR - (EKZ Cross Tour)

Water Works - (Euro Champs)
Electric Company - (Pan-American Championships)