Ben Frederick Aims to Conquer Small Monsters in 2021
Frederick's comeback from a TBI continues in 2021 with a full cyclocross calendar
In the second half of the 2015 domestic cyclocross season, things were starting to come together for Ben Frederick. After a slow September, he finished 4th at Charm City two straight days and then got his first UCI podium at DCCX a few weeks later. He continued to finish in the top 10 the rest of the season and finished the campaign with big plans for the next season.
A few weeks before the 2016 season, everything changed for Frederick.
The day things changed was nothing special. He wasn’t sending a gnarly trail; he wasn’t racing a crit; he was just out on a cyclocross training ride prior to the 2016 season.
Frederick described what happened in a 2017 blog post: “The dirt was kind of sandy and wet. The tire stops, head smacks the ground and digs in. No bounce, no slide. Like hitting a wall. That’s the moment things changed. A transitional trail, not getting rad, nowhere near my limit technically or physically. It changed my life.
Frederick ultimately got diagnosed with a Traumatic Brain Injury, or TBI for short. What followed was a challenging path of trying to return not to bike racing but just living a “normal” life. Finishing normal tasks without extreme fatigue, leaving the house during daylight, holding a conversation with multiple people, all these things became a struggle.
Other athletes have been able to overcome TBIs, including 2021 gravel stars Lauren De Crescenzo and Ian Boswell, but as Frederick explains, every concussion, every brain injury, is different. “For some, it’s a week of headaches and feeling off and for some, it’s a battle they continue to fight for years,” he explained.
Over the next few years, Frederick found his new “normal.” In 2019, that included returning to racing competitive cyclocross. He was again able to push the rest of his body to the limits he was once able to.
Frederick had an impressive, if not unsung, season in 2019. He did not finish out of the top 10 in a UCI race all season, and he ripped off a string of three-straight podiums at Noho and NBX toward the end of the season.
All of this UCI racing was prelude to his true goal for the season: Singlespeed Nationals. He had aspirations of knocking off the vaunted Jake Wells juggernaut, and was on his way to doing so before having a shoe mechanical that derailed his shot at handing Wells his first post-retirement defeat at Nationals. Frederick still finished 3rd that race, but you can bet he will be back seeking that win in the Chicago area in December.
We chatted with Frederick about his recovery, his goals for the upcoming season, and his new racing program, The Small Monsters Project.
Ben Frederick Interview
Zach Schuster: I know 2019 was kind of a big year for you, in terms of both results and just being able to race. Can you share a bit of the back story of what you've gone through?
Ben Frederick: The short version is in 2016, leading into the cyclocross season, I had an innocuous crash in training and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury that turned my life upside down. The recovery process was long, and it wasn't about being a bike rider again, it was learning how to be a human again. It's hard to distill the roughly three years it took to reach my new normal, but it makes me grateful each day for the second chance I got at life. [Ed Note: You can read more about Frederick’s recovery here.]
Zach Schuster: What is the toughest part of trying to recover from a TBI that people maybe don't really see in public?
Ben Frederick: A friend told me a while back that a brain injury takes between a week and forever to recover from. That sounds about right. For some, it’s a week of headaches and feeling off and for some, it’s a battle they continue to fight for years. Some people say they changed from who they were before the injury. Some people understand the trials of an unseen injury, some never will.
It turns out, it takes much much longer to heal brain tissue than any other tissue. You can't use crutches on your brain; you can't take the weight off until it heals enough to start walking on it. When it’s trying to heal itself, the resources aren't there to help with processing noise, light, or other stimuli.
I was told, every concussion is a snowflake—they may look similar, but each one is completely unique. If you break a leg, you get crutches and a cast, a visual sign to the world that something's wrong. One can look completely "normal" but be struggling just to exist in a crowded room, to hold a conversation, to be trapped in a broken brain.
Zach Schuster: Lauren De Crescenzo and Ian Boswell have both suffered from TBIs and have had monster seasons. I am guessing seeing them succeed is kind of personally motivating for you?
Ben Frederick: It's really great to see those guys get to the other side of their injuries. Not to put too much of a sober spin on it, but it can be equally as frustrating when you're in the midst of it all. It can make the bar of "back to normal" mean "competing at the highest level of sport.” The reality of a TBI is it's a new normal that needs to be a personal and moving target.
My new normal included; making breakfast without needing to rest for hours; surviving the grocery store; having conversations with more than one person at a time. I'm sure Lauren and Ian had to have serious conversations with themselves, like I did, to justify the risk of getting on the bike again, to keep riding, to start competing.
For me, the decision to ride and race again was not to prove to myself that I am healed or my mark as normal. That was reached when I could exist in the world, when I could be with the people who supported me without limits. This is all bonus content that I didn't expect, nor require to be "me.”
Zach Schuster: How did you stay busy and motivated during the pandemic year?
Ben Frederick: The month before the pandemic hit, I had made the move to Boulder, CO to be with my partner, Leslie Ethridge. So a new place to explore, with plenty of outdoor space to ride, ski, hike in helped a lot. I was also working as a supervisor at Whole Foods Market. When the world shut down, I was an essential worker and had plenty of work to keep me busy. With shifts starting at 4 am on some days or having to work until late, the bike truly became an escape from the stress.
A year ago, I was able to start a new job at Ornot, a cycling clothing company, which is a dream job for me, so the passion to do the gig well keeps me plenty busy!
Zach Schuster: My understanding is you targeted singlespeed Nats in 2019 and almost knocked off the vaunted Jake Wells juggernaut but for a shoe mechanical. Is that your goal again this year?
Ben Frederick: I would love to be cagey and vague to build the suspense, but duh. I absolutely want to give it another nudge. Singlespeed is such a fun discipline and a great way to mix it up.
Zach Schuster: Can you tell me a bit more about the program you will be racing for this year?
Ben Frederick: I would love to! The Small Monsters Project is not about racing. It's way more than that. The goal is to address the stigma around Mental Illness and raise money for Love Your Brain, a program dedicated to helping TBI survivors.
After my TBI, I struggled with depression and anxiety which took root in an eating disorder that hospitalized me. My road to recovery and acceptance began when I was able to look at my "Monsters" in the face and learn to live with them, to walk alongside them, to turn them from big monsters into small monsters.
Alex Carleson helped the Small Monsters come to life and are featured on the bikes and kit. Ritchey Logic has been with me since 2015, through the whole journey, and has provided custom-painted bikes that will be raffled off at the end of the year, and Ornot has made a Small Monsters Jersey, with all proceeds going directly to Love Your Brain. I hope to help people in the way that so many supported, and helped me through my journey.
Ben Frederick: What kind of schedule will you be racing this season? Any specific race targets and goals?
I'm doing the full pull! Pre-TBI Ben really wanted to make it to the World Cup level, and I couldn't think of a better platform for the Small Monsters Project than to give it a nudge. My coach, Grant Holicky has given me the best chance to qualify for the World Cups and I'm going for it.
This means packing up the car and hitting all of the UCI races on the East Coast leading into the World Cup selection, and if all goes well, line up with the best in the world at the big races this year. I am also looking forward to getting back to New England and the NECX family for Northampton International and Really Rad at the end of the season to see my favorite people.
But real talk, this is all secondary to all of that is to give Love Your Brain the biggest possible check at the end of the year. Each raffle entry comes with a set of stickers with the monsters, and again, all money that comes in, goes to Love Your Brain, not to help me race.
So pretty please, if you're able, consider paying it forward. Much love!
